Hello, everyone.
I just wanna share to You how in the middle of my pain, in the middle of my process to healing, God spoke to me one night. This is exactly how God and I had our conversation. May you be blessed.
May 29, 2020
Isaiah 41:13 NLT
For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord your God. And I say, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”
As I listen to the song of Hillsong’s ‘So Will I’ and read this verse today.. I teared. It touched me. It touched my vulnerable heart. It spoke to me so directly. It spoke to me personally. It touched my soul, my spirit.
I realized, all these past traumas that scares me, I shouldn’t be afraid – which is a command, for the Lord, God Himself will be the One to help me. I can picture His hand reaching out to me as I drown in fear, as I drown in these past traumas, as I drown into heartbreak, as I drown into excruciating pain, as I drown into regression and defeat, as I drown in just a total wreck of darkness, I can see Him holding me – not leaving me, not forsaking me and He’s helping me to get up. Little by little, step by step, not pressuring me, not rushing me.
‘Cos in all honesty, even when I think I’m okay, I know deep within my heart, I know I’m not. There is great fear. Fear that is incomprehensible.
‘Cos in all honesty, I felt defeated. Defeated from ‘love’, defeated from ‘happiness’.
As I go through the process, I rest on His unfailing love, on His patience for me, on His mercy, and on His gentleness. I picture us – God and I together. He tells me, “There is no need to hide these pains, My child. Open your heart, let Me in and allow Me to heal You. Allow Me to allow you see My power.”
As I look back from last year, I can also hear Him say, “My child, I have better plans for you. You don’t need to look back. Just follow Me.”
Today, I go back to my First love. A love that can’t be found in this world. A love that can only satisfy. A love that is fulfilling. The love who thought of me on that cross. The love who thought of me while He’s being slashed, whipped, and scourged. The love whose cost was His life. I go back to this kind of love. The kind of love that can’t be found in this world.
Jesus, thank You. Thank You for finally opening my heart, and letting it heal by You. I let You in my heart, Lord.
..and I realized, sometimes, breakups are breakthroughs.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your sweet sweet message to me. Father, I open my heart to You, heal it Lord. Heal the pains of the past. Thank You for this experience Lord – that I get to journey it with You. Allow me Lord to just fall in love with You more and more and more and more each day, Father.
Thank You, Jesus.
Amen.
- Written by Justine Balsamo
- Photo by Garon Piceli by Pexels
Just. 