June 15, 2020
It’s 3:40 in the morning, I tried going to bed, but I just can’t sleep. Man, there are a lot of things my mind is up to. I’ve been thinking way too much of getting into this certain university.. my dream school. Gaaad, I can’t sleep. I don’t want to sleep. My mind is full of thoughts now. My mind’s like, “Who needs sleep?” Daaaaang, I guess here I am again with Manic episodes. WAHAHA. Grabe, my heart is racing. Euphoria comes in. I am so excited about many things again. Im also getting hyped up with LIQWYD & Dayfox’s ‘Coming Home’ music.
I wonder if my mom comes in to the salas, and she’ll be like, “Anak, di ka pa natutulog?! Matulog ka na! ano’ng oras na umaga na! Marami pa tayo’ng trabaho mamaya!” And simply, I’ll answer, “I’m manic.” easy as that. I mean, yeah, I need sleep, I know, but man, I just can’t sleep. I cannot contain the euphoria I am feeling right now. Gaaaaaaad, my heart is racing so fast right now as well as my brain. I wanna jump! And here I am again with my belief that I can fly. Whoooo! C’mon!
I wanna write a lot, I wanna do a lot of things. My mind is so pre-occupied with way way too many thoughts. I feel like living again! I AM ALIVE!
Here’s the thing with Mania, it makes you feel so alive, so overwhelmed.. at its extremes. Like you FEEL every detail of your FEELINGS way TOO MUCH. And you just have no control over it. You just let it flow. I’m the HAPPY MANIA now, I guess? Let’s see. I get impulsive when I have these episodes. I make decisions easily – not really thinking of the pros and cons thoroughly.
Grabe, right now, my heart is justttttt… aaaaagh! it’s just beating so fast! EUPHORIC, it is. I wanna scream, mygoodness.
So like, right now, I just finished taking documentation of what I feel. I expressed what I feel through a vid I recorded. Hmm.. been thinking of compiling these videos and post it on Youtube. What do you think? Right now, it’s a “Yes!” for me. Anyways, I guess I’ll end this writing of mine as I’m still thinking of something to do. It’s gonna be a productive day, ey? 😉
Thanks for reading!
Love, Just!
Just. 