This is it, pancit!
Hello everyone, my name is Justine, but you can call me ‘Just’ as my nickname instead. I am turning 21 in 4 months time.
So, as some of you may know, I have been dealing with an illness for 2 years now.. a mental illness. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 (Mixed type) – ‘Cuz I have Anxiety as well last January 2018, I said 2 years because prior being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I was first diagnosed with Anxiety and Depressive Disorder in May 2017. I believe, my recent diagnosis was late, because even before, there was the symptom already – I have been feeling overly hyper to the point I believe I could fly.
Honestly, opening about it takes me years – it takes courage and heart to talk about it.
But here we are! Here I am, wanting to be more open about Mental Health as this is my advocacy. No more to “Silent Advocate” (How ironic was that, right?)
Opening about it really takes me a lot and lots of courage. I earned it for years. There are many times I was hesitant to share about it. I was thinking of the pro’s and con’s clearly.
But today, yes, today, I realized I really wanted to share my journey about it, because: 1, as my advocacy, to raise more awareness about Mental Health. 2, to somehow lessen the stigma and realize that Mental Illnesses are real just how physical illnesses are. 3, to realize that there are some certain things that we dont understand, therefore Empathy is a must. 4, last but not the least, to give hope to the lost and those who are suffering the same.
Over the years, I have been recording my attacks/episodes whether that may be my Manic Episode, Depressive Episode or Mixed episode, or my Anxiety Attacks. This helps me to express what I feel and it’s a good tracker for me to know when I had it.
I have been seeing a Psychiatrist regularly and been taking meds on a daily basis.
Now, some you may think, How could that be? Isn’t she cheerful? Isn’t she walking with the Lord? Isn’t she surrendering herself to the Lord?
Before any judgments, Yes my dear friends, I am a Christian. But here is what many don’t understand:
– Our brain is also an organ that gets ill.
– Kahit ako sa sarili ko, tinatanong ko ang Diyos kung bakit nya in-allow sakin na mangyari to. Pero Diyos Sya, alam Nya ang ginagawa Nya. Control Nya ang lahat. Indeed, all things work together for good.
– Sometimes, God allows di-mo-maintidihan situations for us to cling unto Him.
– There is PURPOSE for everything.
There was even a point in time where I got so mad at God. I questioned Him, “How could a good and loving God allow this to His children?” and this iswhat God answered me: To strengthen my Faith. To fully depend on Him. And also, to make realize that His grace is made perfect in weakness.
Honestly, when I was diagnosed, I found relief. God is still good. He made me understand why I am feeling certain feelings that’s intensely hard to comprehend.
They say, this illness will last for lifetime already. I don’t know what the future holds, but for me, nothing is impossible with God. Let God be glorified in everything!
I am a work in progress, and God is to be praised.
For you to share with me my journey about my illness, you can follow my channel on
IG: justinebalsamo
Thank you, God bless! You are not alone in this battle.
Just. 